Ungrateful Jerks

First of all, we all know that I am amazing and have done countless deeds for the Alliance. If not for me there would be millions of dragons, yetis, and stupid murlocks running amuck in our beautiful lands. You'd think that would count for something.. at the library.

I am pretty sure that the librarians are actually Horde. So my librams were a little late, so what. I was out Dooming arses all week so those little sissies could have a little library, and they wanted to charge me 2 Gold in late fees.

Well just so you all know there won't be any more late fees. Librarians have absolutely no shadow resist. Just don't look behind the bookshelves in the back of the room.

A Selfless Act

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I decided that I needed to take a break from all the killing and destruction and wanted to give something back to the community. I volunteered at the Alliance Fire Department.

BORING! Nothing ever catches on fire. Have you ever noticed that? I even had Kal'los sneak out and shoot some fire bolts at the stupid houses just to get things going.

I was hoping to at least get some good +fire resist gear for doing this, but that doesn't look like its going to happen either.

There Goes the Neighborhood

OK, so I hate the horde, and I hate Rogues, but even worse then that, I hate the CARNIES! I was out for a nice ride this morning and what do I find, but a bunch of freaken shiftless caries mucken up beautiful Elwynn Forest. I like to ride through the trees to clear my head and take in the fresh air. After all that time in the stink hole of Black Rock Mountain, I look forward to getting back to my roots.

Now it smells like undead ass all over the place. Seriously, its bad enough we allow Rogues in the Alliance to begin with, but now we let those lazy smelly carnie bastards all over our land.

I am going to bring this up with out stupid pre-pubesant king.

Double the Awesome

This morning there was a freak transporter accident. It seems that those idiot gnomes got something wrong and the transporter spawned an evil me somewhere in the world. Just the thought of having 2 of me brings a tear to my eye. Imagine.. DOUBLE DOOMING, double the horde killing, its just double the Awesome!

She Devil

Sorry I haven't updated you all in a while. Problems at home. Sure, I single handedly DOOMed the Beast and solved the Troll mysteries in the jungles of Straglethorn, but when it comes to women I am just a lvl 1 n00b.

As you might have guessed Kat threw me out this weekend. It seems that whilst I was boozing it up at the inn, she was cookin me up some dinner to celebrate our one-year anniversary. I stumbled in the house, drunk, full, and totally unaware of what was going on. I'm not 100% certain which of those was the greater crime.

She began tearing into me, so I stood up and pretended to be mind controlled and ran out side. She decided that I should stay out there and locked me out. I pleaded with her to forgive me, but reasoning with she-devil bitches is next to impossible.
She mumbled some demon curse at me and stormed inside.

No big deal. Once she was inside and she thought she won, I dismissed her arse and went inside. HA!

A Trip to the Museum

To be Uber on the outside an awesome warlock needs to be Uber on the inside. I daily hone my DMG skills by killing the countless beasts of the lands and sending Horde to their deaths. This afternoon I worked on my insides.

I took a trip to the Hall of Explorers and toured the Iron Forge Museum. Giant Rams..HOW INTERESTING. I as read about ancient rats and giagantic..giants, I could feel my intellect grow by the minute.

I swear, I must be the smartest Warlock in the world!

The DOOM List

I was lying in bed last night trying to fall asleep after killin horde over in Arithi Basin. WTH do the horde want our horse ranch so bad. There are like 2 million horde and 5 horses on our ranch. Greedy bastards.

Anyways, thinking of those cheap ass shammys and smelly trolls got my ulcer churning. I JUST WISH I HAD DOOMED THIER ARSES!
That's when I realized I needed a DOOM list. I will keep it up-to-date as much as I can. So far I have only added those I wish to DOOM.

So watch out suckas, you don't want to end up on my list!


The DOOM List


MattTheGnome Who is the guy? He's a whmpy lvl 1 and he keeps gettin all my fame. I hate him.


Dad You know his story.


NEVixen Senior prom date who left me at the dance and went home with a tauren. Bitches.


Steve Me ol' college roomate. Used to eat all my food, never went to class, and still owes me 800g in ale money.

Feast For Me!

To my surprise.. I was greeted with a heroe's feast outside Iron Forge this evening. I should have suspected something was up because Bug Blue was acting funny and kept wanting to show me something outside. Usually he just wants to go out there cause he's a pansy and he likes to chase butterflies. So as you can imagine, I was expecting to see some freaking sissy flower or some whimpy level one beasty he had a crush on.

BOY WAS I EMBARRASED! All the Alliance fancy pants were there, and there were even a bunch of ghosts of mobs I had totally Doomed there, just to respect.

The feast ended with the whole city yelling "Sir Eigen FTW!" over and over again.. they are so ghey.

Filthy Finkle

I have thought Finkle was kinda creepy for sometime now. He's been caught stuck in the Beast's ass more too often then he should admit. Last night we caught him in there with a little friend.

I was like.. "Hey FInkle! What the hell were you doing up the Beast's butt..AGAIN?!!" And before he could answer some little buddy of his, and a little grey wolf popped out and the two of them just looked at eachother and giggled.

Gross.